Being different might just be natural!

Many of us who are drawn to the seekers path are fraught with the feeling of being different. We don’t fit in, question the norms of society or feel misunderstood by those around us. 

“What if the healthier you become, the more alien you feel?” 

This is a question we ask our level 1 students as they prepare to graduate from our foundational course. Throughout the course they are healing and transforming, and we want to prepare them to go out in the world – they will be different!

Perhaps that’s not great marketing for our class, but let’s be honest – it can be challenging to find a truly healthy person out there, be it emotionally, physically or otherwise. So to try and fit in could mean trying to be unwell!

As Gabor Mate says in his book, The Myth of Normal, “I will make the case that much of what passes for normal in our society, is neither healthy nor natural.” 

He goes on to suggest, “Shedding toxic myths of disconnection from ourselves, from one another, and from the planet, we can bring what is normal and what is natural, bit by bit, closer together. It is a task for the ages: one that can redeem the past, inspire the present, and point to a brighter, healthier future. It is our most daunting challenge and greatest possibility.”

So rather than asking what it is to be “normal”, maybe the better question is, what is natural?

I know that when I ask myself, “what is my natural state”, it can really twist my brain into a knot. So much of my childhood training pulled me away from my own rhythm into submitting into the expectations of others. I wonder, where was I in there? How would I be if there was a bit more breathing room for me to be me?

I understand we all need to learn how to live within society’s rules, but does it require us to sacrifice our sense of self? One of the primary ideas Mate explores in his book is how we are all essentially motivated by connection. The problem is, in a toxic society, this leads us to disconnect from ourselves in order to connect and fit in. 

If connection is the key, I believe starting our connection to the divine is the most important place to start. Human to human connection is not always reliable, as mentioned: we are all in various stages of our healing journey!

In my meditation practice, when I connect to the love of the universe, this is where I find the truth of self acceptance. I might be an outsider, weirdo or even an alien (!), and I might still wonder if these parts of me deserve the love that all parts of us seek. But remember, Divine Love is unconditional, so it’s up to us to open up and receive it!

When I breathe in that light and love and start to relax on the inside, it gives me courage to learn what is natural and to live as myself out in the world.

Let in the love, meditate and accept your natural state a bit more each day. This is a healing for yourself and inevitably for the world. As Gabor Mate says, this may just point to a brighter, healthier future for all.